Writing is incredibly difficult for me. I have a problem with motivation.
In high school and university, I was someone who would always stay up until 3am, writing a paper the night before it was due. This worked for me. I typically did my research in advance, but the writing was always last minute. I procrastinate. And I need that deadline to loom menacingly before I feel the whip crack and get down to business.
When it comes to this blog the deadlines don't exist. I try to make deadlines for myself, typically it's "before [month] ends." But the deadline comes and goes, and I have yet to begin a new post.
Part of my problem is that I'm uneasy with this style. Essays I've written in the past have had a thesis and a structure. The blog is much more conversational. It's my opinions, stories, and voice. I try to work on my writing style, which results in me taking too long to form some sentences, not long enough on others, getting bored, and mostly skipping the editing process. "I'll come back to it later," I think. Yeah, that'll happen.
Another point on the motivation side of things is, I don't even know if anyone is reading my blog. I certainly don't expect anyone is sitting at home, wishing for another post from me as if I was Allie Brosh.
And yet, I have to be careful about what I write, because someday someone might Google themselves, find my page, and read what I wrote about them. The theatre scene in Toronto is insanely insular, and I have no desire to offend anyone. In fact, I want most people in the Toronto theatre scene to hire me, work with me, and like me. Which also means that I really don't want to make myself sound bad. A lot of the work I do is challenging, but I don't want this blog to be a "Dear Diary" of whining, complaining, and general self-pity. Boring.
So, let's see if I can get to it.
This past fall, I did my third apprenticeship credit on Opera Atelier's wonderful production of Don Giovanni. It was certainly the most challenging apprenticeship I've done to date, and quite possibly the most challenging job I've had in any field.
I was working with incredible people, and Opera Atelier is a very familial company. Co-artistic directors Marshall Pynkoski and Jeannette Lajeunesse Zingg directed and choreographed respectively. Stefano Montanari was the guest conductor from Italy, who brought so much energy into the hall and the music. There was so much respect in the rehearsal hall, between the artists, and the production staff. The singers, artists of the ballet, and the chorus were all great people to work with. I admire their talent, and have fond memories of great conversations with many of them.
The design was astoundingly impressive. Bonnie Beecher's lighting design created a show that looked dark but was visible. Gerard Gauci's set design was inspired — gorgeous and fun. Martha Mann's costume design was impeccable. I've never seen anything like these outfits, and no words could do them justice.
I was the apprentice stage manager under Kat Chin, stage manager, Jessica Severin and Nan Shepherd, assistant stage managers. We all had different responsibilities in the rehearsal hall. I set up the kitchen at the top of the day, and kept the coffee in supply throughout our long rehearsal days. I followed along with the music, timed each page, as well as the opera as a whole. I kept blocking notes, ran errands, did paperwork. It might not sound like a lot, but competing demands are a challenge to juggle. I helped out wherever I was needed. The biggest challenge was the schedule. We rehearsed six days a week, and the average length of my day was eleven hours. At that point, your life becomes work, commute, and sleep. The best thing that can be said about that schedule is that it doesn't last forever.
I hit my stride during the performances. I love being in the theatre, and the crew at the Elgin is awesome. During the run of the show I was backstage, on headset. I followed along in the score, giving bar number placement whenever it was requested. I had a microphone connected to the paging system backstage, and would page artists to the stage five minutes before their entrances.
I spent a lot of time during that week contemplating whether I prefer the rehearsal period to the performance period. The truth is, I don't think I could ever choose. The real joy is seeing something transform over the course of the rehearsal period into performances. They're inseparable for me.
When the show closed in Toronto, we had a two week hiatus, before taking the show on the road to Columbus, Ohio! It was my first tour, and it went very well. It was challenging, to be sure. We were there for a little over a week, in which time we had to rehearse with the new chorus and the new orchestra, adjust to a new stage, and tech the performance in a new theatre. The crew in Columbus was so welcoming, and it was a pleasure to work with them. The Southern Theatre was a gorgeous, old venue.
I will always hold memories of Don Giovanni very dear.
